Care to tango?

For my first local restaurant review, i thought long and hard about the choices. With so many options...how to choose? Well when i drive by a hole in the wall with a line out the door, i have to assume they know something i don't.

Tango's Subs and Empanadas ( 701 N Orchard, Boise)

 Its easy to miss. Its small, toned down...and visually unappealing. That being said, the smell alone is enough to compensate for the lackluster location. As i walk in I'm greeted by an older man, clearly Argentinian, who likes to call people "my friend!". When i explained i was a first timer he quickly whipped out a full scale clay mock up of said empanadas. Wheat flour based dough, rolled thin, stuffed with your choice of fillings, crimped, and fried. I opted for the Elpuerco- shredded pork in green salsa with potatoes, and a Moleh (aka Mole). I also ordered a couple of "hawaiian" empanadas for the kids. So much for tradition right?

I started with the Elpuerco. The dough was flaky and crispy, though slightly oily. The smell was of diner french fries ( which they also sell) and green chili's. The pork inside was tender, moist and well seasoned, but nothing to write home about. A fairly homogeneous mixture with no discernible vegetation other than the 2 small pieces of potato. So far...im not impressed.

Next up was the moleh. Same basic french fry smell. the mixture inside ( pork??maybe beef??) looked like...well not great. When i order Mole, i expect a mahogany colored chili based sauce with hints of sesame or peanut ( depending on local). What i got was a....brown, shredded meat paste that tasted like Mexican style pulled pork ( tinga) with a handful of Reese's peanut butter cups melted in.Way to sweet, no spice, and generally unpleasant

The kids Hawaiian style empanadas ( and my eye is twitching just trying to fathom that concept) were...eh. Shredded mozzarella, sliced ham pieces, and canned pineapple. just seems wrong, but they ate them.

So why was there a line out the door? What magical spell are they using to draw these poor lemmings into this south American hot-pocket factory? Money. 1 empanada, 1 Drink, and 1 order of fries = $5. The guy behind the counter says its mainly kids stopping in after school for fried...whatever.  I give this place a 1 out of 5, and only because there chimichurri sauce was pretty good. Not the way i wanted my first review to go, but thats how it goes.

Eat well my friends
Bob

All the single ladies...

Are u sad? lonely? man-less? Do I have the answer to your woes!
Salty, smokey, fatty, porky, BACON!! Its the true food of the gods...unless there Jewish or Muslim....sorry.
Anywho, i have put together a list of my favorite bacony items, starting with a little man-bait...seriously!

Man Bait - Bacon and Maple Syrup Lollipop    
See? told ya. Maple flavored lollipops with bits of bacon goodness! True manbait if i ever saw it.

But perhaps you man-target is into a classier brand of eats...designer chocolate maybe?
Vosges Haut Chocolat, Mo's Bacon Bar (3oz Bar)
Yes...you read it right...bacon and dark chocolate dancing in sweet bliss. Not cheap...but soooo worth it.

So now you have bait. Any good hunter knows the wrong sent can send your man-prey running the other way. The solution?
Bacon Soap
Wash, rinse, repeat. that will cover up damn near any off odor you may be giving off. Next u need to cover the other bases:
Bacon Flavored Mints

And
Bacon Lip Balm

If you have a car, you may also want to consider
Bacon Scented Car AIR Freshener


OK...now your smelling tasty. next step? Looks! You gotta look good while smelling good!
 I Heart Bacon T-Shirt - Large
Bacon Wallet


Got an owie? how bout BACON Bandages?









The bottom line is Everything...EVERYTHING...is better with bacon. Men know it, and now you do too. You don't have to die a sad lonely old woman with 20 cats and no man...unless your vegetarian....then your pretty much screwed.

Eat well my friends
Bob

sweet mother of cheap eats!

During this magical holiday season everyone i know is looking for a way to stretch a buck. Now, I'm all about eating local. I'm also notoriously frugal. How do i best combine these lovely attributes? 4 words: Capital City Public Market ! Yes dear friends, the market is STILL open...for  3 more Saturdays. Every Saturday till December 18 you can brave the horrid weather and save some cash while supporting local businesses .Everything from Apple Lucy's Bakery to ZuCru Creations art line the corners of 8th street and Bannock street in downtown Boise.

 I know what your saying : " but Bob! how is paying $5 a dozen for organic, free range, vegan fed, omega 3, Buddhist, free trade, free Tibet, no blood for oil, chicken eggs a good deal?". Simple my economically impaired friend!: They accept Food stamps! ( Idaho Quest Card)
Here's the lo-down:

1. Come to the red canopy with your card
2. Tell the volunteer at the booth how much money you would like to withdraw
3. Enter your PIN, or sign your receipt
4. Receive the wooden SCRIPT the volunteer hands you
5. Spend your wooden SCRIPT at participating booths, just like you would cash. You even get cash change!
The wooden SCRIPT are just wooden nickels in $1 and $5 increments. $1 is reserved for the EBT/Food Stamp program, while the $5 tokens are for Credit/Debit transactions.

Now i did a little comparing and the rocktastic yummies at the  market are ALLOT CHEAPER than the exact same items at our local health food store...if they have them at all. Plus, the nutritional content of about 99% of the products there far exceeds, dollar for dollar, the "cheap eats" your accustomed to. You cant look at everything based on $$ per pound, gallon, whatever. Raman noodles are one of the lowest cost foods you can buy. Its also HORRIBLE for you and has ZERO nutritional value. Bad food = bad health = medical bills.
n't1 2 AM trip to the ER because your sick can run over $1000. You have any idea how many organic carrots you can buy with a grand?? Allot!What if  5 lbs of Oranges a month can give u vitamin boost needed to keep you from getting sick and loosing your job? Good food isn't cheap, and cheap food isn't good. Its a sad fact of life. I only hope you read this and if nothing else, next time your at your local grocery store reaching for the beef-a-roni, you remember what I said.

Eat well my friends

Bob