Are u sad? lonely? man-less? Do I have the answer to your woes!
Salty, smokey, fatty, porky, BACON!! Its the true food of the gods...unless there Jewish or Muslim....sorry.
Anywho, i have put together a list of my favorite bacony items, starting with a little man-bait...seriously!
Man Bait - Bacon and Maple Syrup Lollipop
See? told ya. Maple flavored lollipops with bits of bacon goodness! True manbait if i ever saw it.
But perhaps you man-target is into a classier brand of eats...designer chocolate maybe?
Vosges Haut Chocolat, Mo's Bacon Bar (3oz Bar)
Yes...you read it right...bacon and dark chocolate dancing in sweet bliss. Not cheap...but soooo worth it.
So now you have bait. Any good hunter knows the wrong sent can send your man-prey running the other way. The solution?
Bacon Soap
Wash, rinse, repeat. that will cover up damn near any off odor you may be giving off. Next u need to cover the other bases:
Bacon Flavored Mints
And
Bacon Lip Balm
If you have a car, you may also want to consider
Bacon Scented Car AIR Freshener
OK...now your smelling tasty. next step? Looks! You gotta look good while smelling good!
I Heart Bacon T-Shirt - Large
Bacon Wallet
Got an owie? how bout BACON Bandages?
The bottom line is Everything...EVERYTHING...is better with bacon. Men know it, and now you do too. You don't have to die a sad lonely old woman with 20 cats and no man...unless your vegetarian....then your pretty much screwed.
Eat well my friends
Bob
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